Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Fate...


Where do I begin...Ive always been the one my friends come to for advice it seems. I keep a positive outlook on the situation and use my instincts to steer them in the right direction. I've tried to use my instincts to put my life in perspective lately and I thought I was on the right track. I've always felt that you should follow your gut and heart because they will usually never fail you. When you follow your head you get wrapped up in too much of the nonsense that gets in the way of true happiness. You start asking the what if questions and comparing things to the past and not fully enjoying what is going on in the present. Although this is easier said than done, I've tried my best to do just that and follow my gut and my heart, which has led me to some wonderful places lately. Life is a journey and you learn things about yourself as you go along. I have learned that I am someone with a huge heart, and no matter how many times I get hurt and my heart is broken, I just can't seem to change into that person who builds a wall so high no one can ever get over. I'm weak, and like everyone else am looking for that love that makes heads turn. I found that with someone, and it felt so natural. Everything fit in its place and worked out as we went along. I was entirely head over heels in love and felt like I was on top of the world. What a great feeling! And out of nowhere it has all been taken away from me. I am crushed and wonder how something so amazing can be given to you by the universe and taken away so quickly. I truly trusted my instincts and I feel like I was let down. So my question to myself now is, do I continue to trust those instincts that led me straight to heartbreak? Do I allow myself to even consider opening up to someone ever again, just to have it all be taken away from me? I don't want to end up to be one of those bitter people who never find happiness because I'm too scared of what might happen. I don't want to build walls to not be able to share myself with someone on a level that is so deep you get lost. My connection with this person, was beyond the limits of explanation. I seriously could not find the words to describe how amazing this meeting of my soulmate was. I knew it the instant I laid eyes on her. Everything boils down to free will and you can't control someones actions, emotions etc... When fear steps in..fear of the unknown, some people can't accept it even if it feels right. Sometimes you just have to accept that not everyone can let go of their past, and their time with you has come to an end. We all have more than one soulmate out in this world. Just because you've felt a deep connection with someone & lost it for whatever reason, doesn't mean you'll never have that again with someone new. You just have to be willing to not compare them and allow the relationship to flourish. Open your heart and enjoy the ride.




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